See You in My Dreams
by Angelkatt
Summary: The quest into Spike's subconscious...is a confusing one. Dig deep enough though, and you'll find yourself looking into something so hidden, he won't even admit. Himself. Spike's dream during Restless. S/B, S/D


See You In My Dreams  
By Patricia  
http://www.geocities.com/area51/underworld/6643  
drkkat@yahoo.com  
A.N: Thanks Joyce!   
Summary: This is an answer to Spike's Dream challenge.   
Disclaimer: My story. Not my characters.   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
I was sitting on the grass, the hot sun blazing on my back. I even thought my neck would be sun burnt if I stayed there for too long.   
  
I don't know how I got there, but I didn't even think of that at the time. All I was focusing on was to find someone else, because I felt so alone…  
  
"Ahh!" I cried in shock from the sudden noise pounding in my ears.   
  
"Come on, you big baby!" Willow, who was dressed in a leather cat-suit type thing I wish she would wear more often, hit me playfully. "Welcome to The Party!"   
  
"What party?" I tried to shout over the music, whose origins I couldn't locate.  
  
She sighed with impatience. THE Party. The first and last." she said like she was explaining everything.  
  
I looked around and found everything to be familiar. We were at the Bronze, but that wasn't the only familiar thing. Every single person there was someone I knew. My first fledgling was talking to that Cordelia girl and on the dance floor, having the time of their life, my father and Joyce.  
  
The music kept playing at the most obnoxiously loud volume possible, but there was no band on the stage. All that was there was a single microphone, a chair, and a guitar. Something beckoned me over so I pushed through the crowd of relatives, victims and others onto the stage. Grabbing the stringed instrument, I tried to see if I still remembered how to play.  
  
The music was still blaring but my note seemed to pierce through the air, louder and clearer.  
  
"If it's the last thing I do,  
I will show the world.  
If there is one thing I'll say to you,  
I won't let all this be the last…" I abruptly faded out. I couldn't compete with the other melody. I stood up and put the guitar down but was stopped by someone who put his hand on my shoulder.   
  
"What do you think you're doing?" Giles asked sternly.   
  
"I was about to leave. There's nothing wrong with that."  
  
"No, you were giving up, just because you were all alone against something bigger. Again."  
  
I didn't understand what he was rambling about at first but then I caught on. "They were stronger. Bigger."  
  
"Then you'll need help." Giles replied reasonably. He got his own guitar and started playing. Spike listened for a moment and joined.  
  
When they finished, everyone madly applauded.  
  
"You see. Together, we can beat them."  
  
I disagreed. "We destroyed the Initiative, but we still haven't solved the problem." I waited for him to respond, but instead, I was face to face with Willow again.  
  
"Look!" she said in excitement. "An all you can eat!" I followed the direction she was pointing to and discovered something I didn't see before. A cage full of humans.  
  
"All those mice." Her eyes showed obvious desire and happiness. Then she explained. "They won't run, but they'll scream for our pleasure. Come on!"  
  
She pulled me to the entrance of the cage and told me to pick one.  
  
"First come, first serve." Xander was already there and I watched as he and Willow vamped out and tortured their victim with no mercy. Not about to be upstaged by the like of Xander Harris, I grabbed the nearest human let out a triumphant growl, and went for the kill.  
  
"Aarrrgg!!" I screamed in agony as that damn chip in my head went off.   
  
The music that had tortured me since I first heard it, suddenly stopped, but I wish it hadn't. Because it was replaced by the even more hateful and dreaded sound of laughter.  
  
The deafening sound began to fade into the background, and so did all of the people. Soon, there was only the sadistic chuckle I remember from long ago and a face I recognize much too well.  
  
"Will, Will, Will. My poor boy." My sire said in mocking sympathy. "Isn't it sad when a brooding, soulful, bad excuse for a vampire can hurt more people than you?"  
  
There was a question I didn't think about, but somehow escaped my lips. "Are you Angel or Angelus?"  
  
He laughed again. "Does it really matter? In the end, it all works out the same."  
  
"No. I need to know!" I shouted in desperation. "I can never have her if you're both."  
  
"You'll never win them anyway. Not the one devoted to Angelus, or the one who has given her heart to Angel."  
  
I just stood there and stared as I thought of who I was referring to. The truth was, I didn't know who I wanted.  
  
'Drusilla or Buffy?'  
  
Chapter Deux   
  
I was once again on the field of green grass, and once again, the dreaded feeling of loneliness washed over me.  
  
I looked around and there was nothing but grass for miles and miles, all the way to the horizon. I listened very closely, though, and could hear familiar humming. I recognized it as Ms. Edith's favorite song.   
  
Drusilla very suddenly appeared in front of me, sitting on a nice picnic blanket in a pale yellow sun dress.  
  
"Hi there, Spike!" She greeted me cheerfully with a smile, but something was wrong. Not familiar. "Would you like an apple?" she reached into the picnic basket she had with her and held out an apple for me. She laughed at my expression. Then I knew what was wrong, what was different. Her smile was sweet and she didn't have that maniacal laugh I was so accustomed to. She looked, in fact, quite sane.   
  
"Doesn't the sun burn you?" I asked her. She replied with patience in her voice.  
  
"She can only hurt you if you let her."  
  
"She doesn't have to have a chance to hurt me if you'll come back to me. Now that you've returned to your sensed, we can be together again Dru!" I pleaded desperately.   
  
Again, she smiled. "I'm sorry Spike, but I've found someone special."  
  
I don't know how I missed it before, but there was a very odd man lying down in front of me, with his head on Dru's lap. She was feeding him the way you would with grapes but as I looked closer, it was undoubtedly…cheese?   
  
"Cheese is the food of the gods. The forbidden fruit…" he spoke up.   
  
Then the sun went down.  
  
Chapter Trois  
  
The three of us didn't move from where we were standing, but instead of a sunny field, we were in the typical setting of one of Sunnydale's many graveyards.  
  
The cool breeze made the trees rustle eerily as I heard footsteps approaching us. Lots of them.  
  
We were surrounded by a dozen soldiers from the Initiative. One by one, they lifted the masks that had covered their faces. Staring back at me was the most horrible sight I could have imagined. They all had the faces of the infamous farm boy, Riley Finn. The whole dozen.  
  
"That's it. I'm outta here." Drusilla tried to stop him, but the funny little cheese man ran, leaving Dru and me all alone with the Rileys.  
  
"You hate me as much as I hate you, don't you?" I asked the one in the middle, who seemed to be the leader. He didn't say anything. He just took out a dagger and headed for Dru. She didn't even have time to scream as it slid into her.   
  
"No!" My own scream echoed through the night. She didn't turn to dust. It wasn't quick and painless. She just kept bleeding, gasping in pain, until she lied lifeless and silent on the ground.  
  
"Hey, look at that," he pointed out idiotically. "Now I've really taken everything from you, haven't I?"  
  
"I'll kill you." I stated venomously.   
  
"Nope. Took that."   
  
All who I could think of to help me get revenge was Angel and…the Slayer.  
  
"Un uh. Took that too." He answered before I even said anything.  
  
I in rage, growled and charged at him. I couldn't take it anymore. Not standing up for himself and being pushed around was what William was accustomed to.  
  
Well, I'm Spike now. Big, bad, evil and strong soulless demon. I'm not William anymore.  
  
"Keep telling yourself that." Riley smiled.  
  
I kicked him down and punched with fury. It didn't occur to me that the chip didn't go off, or that the other Rileys didn't make a move. They just started fading, one by one.  
  
I finally bit him. With all the built up energy from weeks of no violence against humans, I let it all out on the one human I hated most. Could feel his life draining away, until the sound of his heartbeat was no more.  
  
I felt stronger and happier than I've felt in a long time. I wiped any excess blood off of my face in triumph and stood up, only to meet wide eyes that immediately ruined my victorious mood.  
  
"Spike?" Buffy questioned uncertainly as she saw the body of her former boyfriend, laying lifeless on the ground.   
  
Chapter Quatre  
  
"Slayer, I--" I was abruptly cut off when she ran full speed towards me. I closed my eyes and held up my arms to protect myself. I staggered back a bit as the force of her body impacted me.  
  
Expecting to be beaten to a bloody pulp, you could imagine my surprise when I found her legs wrapped around my waist, her arms around my neck, and her beautiful mouth, all over mine.  
  
"Oh gods Spike," she was panting heavily. "I need you desperately. Want you. Can't hold it any longer." She said breathlessly between her kisses.  
  
"What about soldier boy?" I mentally kicked myself right away for reminding her.  
  
"Who? Oh, it doesn't matter now. All that matters is that you're here. I can't explain it. It's like something inside of me, animal, wanting to come out…"  
  
Something in the corner of my eye knocked me hard from the side. I couldn't keep my balance and fell to the ground, all the while being assaulted in a fury of scratches and punches.  
  
My vampire senses were crying out 'Slayer', but I knew it wasn't my slayer. It was The Slayer.  
  
Suddenly, the world went blacker than I ever thought it could.  
  
Chapter Cinq  
  
I woke up with a start, gasping for needless breath. I immediately felt embarrassed and was grateful that no one was there to witness my forgotten vampirism.  
  
That dream…I had a strange feeling it wasn't an ordinary one. I tried to decipher it, find out it's hidden meaning, but something hit me. I kept trying to shake off the dream, but one part just kept coming back in my mind.  
  
'Cheese isn't a fruit…'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
La Fin. ..until vous rêvez encore.   
  
  



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